An example of how one might look before and after ACTUALLY WORKING OUT!

This is kind of a follow up to my raging hate bomb against chicks that do sweet FA at the gym.

I took a photo of myself after work but before the gym tonight, and then I took a photo of my mascara smeared face post workout.  Please note that I look significantly more ‘whiffy’ and ‘scruffy’ in the after photo.  Please note the sweaty hair.  Please also note the matted, somewhat dried sweat creating a dull sheen on my face.

This, people, is what you should look like after you work out.  You should look like shit.

PS: I am digging my new scarf!

I use a 4 mile run as make-up remover

I recently read a scathing article that was linked by someone on dailymile hating on people who make it their New Year’s Resolution to “lose weight” or “get fit”.  These people become, to regular gym goers, enormous pains in the ass.  Why?  Well, because it’s pretty frustrating to watch eats-nutella-by-the-spoonful and more-frosting-consumed-than-on-cake* ‘puff’ away on the only available treadmills at the ‘rigorous’ pace of 2mph when it’s snowing/icy/windy as fuck outside and you just really want to get a decent 4 miles out of your legs SOME FUCKING TIME THIS YEAR, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Everyone getting antsy and throwing them glares knows they’re wasting their time, and come March, they will no longer be around.  Be real, it’s true.  Anyway, I can totally feel this dude’s rage.  But is that the most irritating thing in the modern gym?

Hell no.

What’s worse?  Easy.  Chicks that look EXACTLY THE SAME at the start of their workout as they do at the end.  Chicks that are caked in a full-face of make-up (dutifully reapplied several times throughout their paltry hour-long stay).  Chicks that don’t have a hair out of place.  Chicks that are kitted out in trendy gym kit, but never sweat in it.  Chicks that use pansy stuff like ‘make-up remover’.  I USE A 4 MILE RUN AS MAKE-UP REMOVER!  BEFORE MY SPIN CLASS!  I have actually witnessed one chick coat her up-do in about 3 litres of hairspray before heading to the cardio machines.  That is ridiculous.

Oh, and they have started carrying towels! Bitch please.

*Two activities that I do occasionally indulge in.  Tip: keep the frosting and Nutella in the fridge.  It’s harder so you are forced to eat it slower.  This makes you less of a heaving food beast.