I must be one of the few women that lives outside Brazil that wants to hear a solid “Yes!” when I ask the question, “Does my butt look big in this?”. Sir Mix-a-lot has the right idea, big butts are hot, which is why I like maximizing mine with running, squats and lunges. But drawbacks to having junk in thine trunk? Having running tights ‘ride low’ at the rear when they’re pulled up to the ribs at the front! Running in town on the weekend is hard enough with avoiding pedestrians, puddles of vomit and the inexplicable grease patches that are always outside McDonald’s. What I don’t need to worry about is flashing ass-crack to Sunday church-goers.
This is why, when I finally bought my pair of 2XU tights, I was relieved to see the drawstring – invention of godly importance! I can tie the tights tight enough (too. much. alliteration) so that the drawstring sits over my hip bones and all ass-flashing worries fade away. I say ‘finally’ as I have been trying to buy a pair of these bad boys for ages. The first time I went into the running shop nearby, they were out of stock (and apparently so were 2XU – at least in my size). The second time I tried (last December), I had them order some in for me, but was in Australia by the time they phoned back. It was only by chance that I popped in yesterday to inquire about my old older that I discovered they had one pair, IN MY SIZE (!!!) in stock, and so I didn’t hesitate to part with my cash.
This morning, I hoisted myself into them and skipped out the door, as it was a rare weekend where both days were sunny! I was planning on running my easy 5 mile route today, but I felt so good I improvised, hit the beach again and managed about 7.5. These tights, whilst not as sexy as my Nike compression tights, felt amazing! Everything was sucked in and I felt like a superhero. When I ran, I sprung. I will definitely be purchasing a second (back-up) pair.
They also get the seal of approval from the boyfriend, though he agrees the Nike’s are ‘hotter’. He also, being the pervert that he is, administered vigorous ‘cheek cup’ testing, and decided that it is, “not as good as rubber.” I did remind him that lycra was more breathable, and therefore slightly more suited to running…