Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta…

Let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room, shall we?  I’m still not running.  Yes, I am annoyed about this, but after collecting all the toys I had hurled aggressively out of the pram, I have gained a little perspective.  A little.

No, I can’t run, but I should be able to at some point in the future.  I had an x-ray on my knee which came back as “satisfactory”, which I take is doctor speak for “don’t waste my time.”  I’ll admit to being more than mildly relieved, as during the wait for my x-ray results I had consulted Dr. Google and self-diagnosed myself with arthritis and a brain tumour.  I was told, however, that an x-ray would be unlikely to pick up smaller issues, which is why I have an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon next week.  Hopefully he will refer me for an MRI, which WILL pick up anything that might be wrong.

Meanwhile, I have tried out a new physio (I think this is number 4).  For the first time in my life I agreed to have acupuncture, because at this point I’d throw money at a voodoo witch doctor if there was a chance it would help my knee heal faster.  For someone terrified of needles (last time I had to have blood drawn, I was physically restrained in the chair), it wasn’t too bad.  The needles are tiny, and apart from one trigger point that sent spasms down my leg and made my foot numb for a few minutes, it was pretty painless.  Next time (next Thursday) she wants to do the same thing, but attach electrodes to the needles.

I’ve been given a ton of stretches to focus on, told to apply heat liberally, and keep up with the massage/foam rolling.  Roger that.

I’ve also been keeping up with cross-training, which means aerobics classes, core fitness classes, and spin classes, with a side of weights.  When I do get back to running I’m hoping that at least my cardio fitness will still exist, because every spin class I do, no joke, I would suck a wet fart out of someone’s asshole if it meant I could get oxygen to my legs any quicker.  Nearing puke-point is pretty much a guarantee.

The other thing I’ve been getting a little serious about is swimming.  I even went along to a triathlete swim session last week, and was told I would be bumped into the fast lane the next week.  Well, ‘next week’ was tonight, and after the session I was told to come to the later session next time, which is the ‘fast people’ session.  Excuse me while I strut triumphantly to my locker.

I knew being on a swim team when I was a kid would pay off some day!

I’ve even signed up for a 5k open water swim, and then, because why not, I signed up for the Henley Bridge to Bridge 14k swim in August.  If I can’t run ultras, I’ll swim them.

Still, I miss that runner’s high.

New Year, Fresh Start?

So I guess one or two of you might be wondering how my 20 minute ‘test’ run went.  I’ll just leave this here, and maybe you can work it out for yourselves.

Don't let the cheerful colours fool you.

Don’t let the cheerful colours fool you.

This time last year I had already banked a marathon for my annual mileage.  New Year’s Day, 2015, I spent a solid 2 hours in the pool, hitting my maximum swim distance ever – 6km.  I swam for so long the bridge of my nose was bleeding from where my goggles rub, and I didn’t even notice until I discovered the crusted blood a couple of hours later.  I’m sure I looked totally normal buying ice in the store after the gym, bleeding from my face…

Back to the physio’s drawing board, I guess.  And binge-watching Benedict Cumberbatch (what a fun name to type) in ‘Sherlock’.

Happy New Year.