Five years ago today I decided to quit smoking. Again. The difference between this time and any previous attempts is that I knew this time would be for good. Why? Because I’m stubborn, and competitive, and I was really annoyed at my ex.
You see, 5 years and one week ago, I split up with my ex-boyfriend of 5 years. When we met, we were sort of compatible (I was obese and nobody else was interested), but as the years went by, we both realized we had pretty much nothing in common. I liked being active, he would moan that his knee hurt after ten minutes of walking. I wanted to eat well, he lived on (incinerated) oven pizzas and packets of Doritos. I hated coffee (still do), he could not function without about a gallon of it. He wanted to have sex with me (and ended up finding it elsewhere, it seems), I wanted to have sex with hot strangers on the subway, hot strangers at the gym, hot strangers at the supermarket, hot strangers on TV, etc (but like a decent human being, did not indulge). He smoked, I wanted to quit – again. It is very hard to not smoke when you are living with/dating a heavy smoker.
The split was immediate – I think we exchanged one paltry text message before ceasing contact altogether. I was so happy to be rid of him, and I was also pretty disgusted with him. When I quit smoking, my disgust for him fueled my willpower, and I can honestly say I haven’t had a single cigarette since the day I quit, although there have been a couple of dark moments when I have walked behind a smoker and inhaled deeply, for old time’s sake, and no, I am not proud of myself.
Since I have quit, I am apparently 13% less likely to die of all smoking related causes, and if I stick with it, in another 15 years all my risks will be that of a non-smoker. So I’m a quarter of the way through. I have also, apparently, saved a whole bunch of money, but my bank balance would disagree with that. But the best thing about remaining a non-smoker (or ex-smoker if you want to get picky) is that smug feeling whenever I speak to a mutual friend who has spoken to my ex and can confirm that he still smokes. It makes me smile. And that might make me sounds like an asshole. And I’m fine with that.