Operation Maximize Gluteus: situation critical.

So those shine splints that were plaguing me before the Loch Ness marathon?  Yeah, they never really went away, and despite trying to ignore them like a trooper, they continue to suck any enjoyment out of running for me.  The guy who does my sports massages has put it down to extra-tight calves since they’re doing all of the work.  Which means that one muscle group is on a one-way train to Lazy Town.  The guilty party?  My glutes.

I have been given a number of stretches to ease off the calves, but I have also been told that they’ll never get the break they deserve unless:

  1. I stop running, or;
  2. My butt starts doing its share of the work.

So I have also been given some butt strengthening exercises to do.  I have been told this before, and have made a couple of half-assed (har har) efforts to stick to a regime, but the reality seems to be that if I am threatened with a running hiatus, I will do what is asked of me.

Thursday saw me return from some brutal calf massage and a foam rolling class, only to youtube some butt workouts.  Turns out there are several, and once you sift through the videos that have a target audience of 14 year old boys, there are some helpful, quick tutorials out there (even though you feel like you belong in the 80’s following along in your living room, hoping your neighbours can’t see in).  That night I did 10 minutes with Cindy, followed by another 10 minutes with Stephanie.  Friday I did 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer followed by RPM (Les Mills version of spin).  Saturday I did Body Pump and Body Attack (but I really felt my shins in attack so spent some time stretching on the power plates afterwards), and today I did the “Super Butt Workout”, despite feeling like my ass is about to fall off, and I am foam rolling my quads on the floor as I type.

In other, non-exercise news, I have been extra busy with work.  This weekend I have spent no less than 6 hours marking work, and I have another hour or two to put in before tomorrow morning if I am to be where I want to be to face the week.  My Friday night was not the most rock and roll experience I’ve ever had:

Neither was my Saturday:

You can get some pretty amusing mistakes, though.  A few of the kids had been experimenting with a thesaurus (with somewhat inaccurate results), and another seemed to misspell ‘gentle’:

Tonight (Sunday), Ian and I went to Nando’s for a late lunch/early dinner (we were being pretty lazy), and managed to catch the Christmas parade during which the lights along Union Street are switched on.  Despite the wet, freezing conditions, we stuck around for a peek:

The first set of lights being switched on

Because what parade in Scotland is complete without bagpipes?

Walking Christmas tree

So for now, running and I are not on great terms, but hopefully with some dedicated butt building, we’ll be back on track soon.  Shin splints: I will destroy you (translation: please, please, please go away)!

5 thoughts on “Operation Maximize Gluteus: situation critical.

  1. We’re both just wrecks right now! Did your physio tell you to lessen your mileage at all? I’m on slow 3-4 mile runs max for the next week. Good luck building up your bum and lucky you for Nandos! That will be us in two week’s time!

    • I know! I told Ian that’s the plan and he might (with lot’s of ‘gentle’ persuasion) do the Santa run. I was handed a flyer for it at the Christmas parade which kind of seems like a sign…. right?
      I’ve been told not to run if it hurts (90% of the time), and to massage the gnarly bit behind the bone regularly, plus the butt exercises. Reducing mileage happens if the other stuff doesn’t work, so I’m being pretty aggressive! I’m back in two weeks for a reassessment.

  2. My calves have been killing me lately. It seems to be IT band related, but I wonder if butt exercises will help (maybe butt exercises will help the IT band too?). Very useful knowledge! Hope your exercises start working for you.

    I can’t even imagine what kind of crazy things you must see as a teacher. I know once in high school I accidentally said “orgasm” when I meant “organism” during a presentation. I’d like to think slips like that make teachers’ lives a little more bearable!

    • WordPress reader? That’s annoying – might be because I paid for the domain name. I use google reader to follow all of my blogs -it’s like following people anonymously! Sneaky. 🙂

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