Got a penis? Suck my balls.

I’m in a bit of a grump about the fact that, as a woman, I am pretty much going to be crappier at running than most men.  At least when it comes to speed.  Male friends that I have coerced into running races with me frequently zoom past me at the start, not to be seen again until I throw my heaving carcass across the finish line to have them greet me with such encouraging comments as ‘That was a lot easier than I thought’ or ‘Where did you disappear to?’.  Male friends who, merely a couple of months before, feared running for more than 30 minutes IN ONE GO.

So what gets you guys annoyed when running?  Slow starters in the fast pens?  Over-synchronized running gear?  Forgetting to hit ‘start’ on the Garmin?

17 thoughts on “Got a penis? Suck my balls.

  1. This very same thing annoys me immensely. My guy friends doing park run on a hangover and no sleep and still beating me by a good couple of minutes. 😦

  2. I think my biggest gripe is when warm weather sets in and the race starts late. That combination is the worst. Bad weather, well, what can you do. Late race start, I can understand, shit happens. But BOTH? COME ON!

    • I know! I remember waiting in a starting pen for well over 30 minutes after the designated start time in the freezing, torrential rain. A little girl was meant to count us down but she kept getting stage fright, and everyone was getting less and less patient with her. It was like watching hungry lions eyeball a gimpy antelope…

    • Ha ha, I completely get you! The point of the race shirt is to wear it AFTERWARDS to show off what you’ve achieved. It’s a wasted wear if you use it during the race, because everyone already knows you’re doing it!

    • That makes me nuts too! I think it’s really bad luck and (I know this sounds ridiculous) but it seems, like, disrespectful of the race.

  3. My bf pulls this crap all the time. I’m a runner, he is not. He SCHOOLS me every time we run and is like hm I thought you’d be faster, you run a lot more than me. Rubbing salt on the wound…

  4. Don’t worry… it just goes to make me feel worse knowing that statistically I should be faster since I have a penis. Girls pass me all the time! 🙂 As for my pet peeve? People who are overly chipper at 8 am chatting with their running buddies while taking up the entire road…

  5. I have a penis and, despite a vasectomy, my balls (albeit with a little less dignity) and there are MANY woman faster than me. What pisses me off are the guys I know who just started running yet consistently run 7:xx miles.

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