I use a 4 mile run as make-up remover

I recently read a scathing article that was linked by someone on dailymile hating on people who make it their New Year’s Resolution to “lose weight” or “get fit”.  These people become, to regular gym goers, enormous pains in the ass.  Why?  Well, because it’s pretty frustrating to watch eats-nutella-by-the-spoonful and more-frosting-consumed-than-on-cake* ‘puff’ away on the only available treadmills at the ‘rigorous’ pace of 2mph when it’s snowing/icy/windy as fuck outside and you just really want to get a decent 4 miles out of your legs SOME FUCKING TIME THIS YEAR, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Everyone getting antsy and throwing them glares knows they’re wasting their time, and come March, they will no longer be around.  Be real, it’s true.  Anyway, I can totally feel this dude’s rage.  But is that the most irritating thing in the modern gym?

Hell no.

What’s worse?  Easy.  Chicks that look EXACTLY THE SAME at the start of their workout as they do at the end.  Chicks that are caked in a full-face of make-up (dutifully reapplied several times throughout their paltry hour-long stay).  Chicks that don’t have a hair out of place.  Chicks that are kitted out in trendy gym kit, but never sweat in it.  Chicks that use pansy stuff like ‘make-up remover’.  I USE A 4 MILE RUN AS MAKE-UP REMOVER!  BEFORE MY SPIN CLASS!  I have actually witnessed one chick coat her up-do in about 3 litres of hairspray before heading to the cardio machines.  That is ridiculous.

Oh, and they have started carrying towels! Bitch please.

*Two activities that I do occasionally indulge in.  Tip: keep the frosting and Nutella in the fridge.  It’s harder so you are forced to eat it slower.  This makes you less of a heaving food beast.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s